Consider the items you do not always do well
and pick one each day to focus on:
• I wait for others to finish their sentence before deciding how to reply.
• I approach important listening situations by clearing my mind and
taking steps to prevent interruptions or distractions.
• I do not engage in other activities (e.g., opening mail, working on the
computer) while I am listening.
• I resist the temptation to assume I know what others will say and then
tune out as a result.
• I never finish sentences for others when they stumble or pause.
• I avoid letting my prejudices cause me to tune out.
• I avoid tuning out others when they say things that I do not agree with
or do not want to hear.
• I resist forming a rebuttal in my mind while others are talking.
• I try to pay attention to nonverbal cues such as voice, tone, posture,
• I willingly ask people to repeat themselves or clarify a point.
• I avoid fidgeting when people speak too slowly or when their
conversation becomes boring.
• I work hard not to dwell on aspects of others that have no bearing on
the conversation (clothing, mannerisms, etc.).
• I resist daydreaming when others are talking.
• I avoid using the same response repeatedly (e.g., “right,” “uh-huh”) in
place of really listening.
• I watch the tendency to use body language that does not encourage
• I resist the need to fill the silence.
relational mindfulness skill builders
(listening tools attributed to )*
*as seen in a