Relational Mindfulness

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Consider the items you do not always do well

and pick one each day to focus on:

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• I wait for others to finish their sentence before deciding how to reply.


• I approach important listening situations by clearing my mind and

     taking steps to prevent interruptions or distractions.


• I do not engage in other activities (e.g., opening mail, working on the          

     computer) while I am listening.


• I resist the temptation to assume I know what others will say and then

     tune out as a result.


• I never finish sentences for others when they stumble or pause.


• I avoid letting my prejudices cause me to tune out.


• I avoid tuning out others when they say things that I do not agree with

     or do not want to hear.


• I resist forming a rebuttal in my mind while others are talking.


• I try to pay attention to nonverbal cues such as voice, tone, posture,

     and pace.


• I willingly ask people to repeat themselves or clarify a point.


• I avoid fidgeting when people speak too slowly or when their

     conversation becomes boring.


• I work hard not to dwell on aspects of others that have no bearing on

     the conversation (clothing, mannerisms, etc.).


• I resist daydreaming when others are talking.


• I avoid using the same response repeatedly (e.g., “right,” “uh-huh”) in

     place of really listening.


• I watch the tendency to use body language that does not encourage

      communication.


• I resist the need to fill the silence.


Click here to return to

Contemplative page

relational mindfulness skill builders

(listening tools attributed to Portland State University)*